By otakuyassine3@gmail.com 
My connecting flight to Charlotte was late landing. I had only 20 minutes until my next departure and the gate was on the other side of the airport. I was wedged in the back of the plane, hearing the clock ticking in my head. I began begging people to move past them.
To their credit, everyone obliged — which surprised me. Historically, airports bring out the worst in people.
I weaved through Charlotte Douglas International Airport at a breakback pace, weaving between crowds of people, sweat forming on my forehead as I drew nearer to my plane. But then I noticed the airport was getting more crowded as I got closer to the gate.
Delayed. Cancelled. Delayed. Something was clearly wrong and I was about to learn the hard way: don’t ever fly through Charlotte. A local later told me, “If I’d known Charlotte’s airport would be this dysfunctional, I’d have never moved here.”
I went from worrying I’d miss my flight to waiting an extra five hours outside of my gate, not getting to my house until 2:30 AM.
If there was any solace in the experience, it was that waiting in an airport with thousands of other stuck travelers makes for tremendous people watching. You can see the collective dissatisfaction growing as you look around the room. There was a palpable energy in the air that signaled something might happen.
A silver haired man in his late 60s, arrived just a few minutes late for his gate which was nearby. They’d just closed the airplane doors. He had a meltdown, begging them to let him on the plane, saying, “Please! Please! I have nowhere to stay tonight.”
He didn’t realize that once the plane doors were closed, agents had no power anymore legally. The flight was leaving.
A few people resorted to drinking alcohol, and that went about as well as one could expect. One man, who wore full hunting attire, was actively flirting with random women, making them as uncomfortable as you’d imagine.
A middle aged woman began yelling at gate agents, saying they’d stolen her phone. I saw several travelers holding their cell phones up recording her, as she got behind the counter, shouting into the agents face in a moment of shocking aggression. She was slurring her speech and swaying as she spoke and pointed her finger in the agents face.
Eventually, she was put in handcuffs and hauled out. Her cell phone was found in her purse by one of the police officers. But it was too late.
Why one should learn to surrender to the moment
I’ve been marred by impatience for many years, often getting too agitated in waiting rooms, wishing the world would hurry up to match my pace.
My epiphany came with the realization that my impatience was only exacting a toll on me, and those around me. It did little to change my situation.
One improvement came with the realization that impatience was also an opportunity. What can you do with that time? Is there work you could address? Could you plan an upcoming vacation? Or prepare for an event?
What’s interesting is that — of all the bored people I’ve seen in waiting rooms and airport terminals — most were doing very little or scrolling on their phone looking miserable.
Do none of them have anything they can be doing with this time? It’s hard to be impatient if you’re busy.
For example, I took that time as an opportunity to take notes and people watch so that I could write this very article. It helped me pass the time and get lost in my thoughts.
Then, I struck up a conversation with a man in his 70s. He was a sales rep for a tech company and was once a touring musician (drummer) throughout Europe. He was completely bald, but reminisced of the huge afro he had at the time. He mentioned hanging out with Jimi Hendrix in Sweden, who secretly had a girlfriend and daughter there.
I knew about Jimi’s story and asked, “Jimi was in the thick of it with drugs at that point, right?”
The mad nodded sadly, “Yes, it was near the end. He was telling me about how he’d been on a days long acid trip just prior to his arrival. We were supposed to get together in the states but then he passed away.”
I told him of my writing career and he was very interested and asked many questions.
By the end of our hour long conversation, it was time for me to board my plane. Talking to him was the perfect intervention on my impatient state. And if you are seeing this sir, thank you for the conversation.
Using cognitive reappraisal to improve your patience
Per Baylor University neuroscience professor, Dr. Sarah Schnitker, we should continually reappraise our life in moments of impatience.
Take time to acknowledge that impatience is typically felt amidst other luxuries we take for granted. For example, I was sitting in an airport, able to afford a plane ticket, sit in a chair in the sky traveling at 500 mph, saving immense amounts of time. In other parts of the world, people go their entire lives without being in an airplane.
It’s also worth exploring why you feel so impatient. What is it that drives that feeling?
There’s a three step process to help interrogate and defeat patience. It is called Identify, Imagine, and Sync.
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First, you identify your emotional state. Become aware of what you’re feeling.
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Second, rethink your emotions from someone else’s perspective. Look at it in light of the bigger picture and question if those emotions are justified.
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Third, sync it with your purpose. Rewrite the narrative in your head about what is going on rather than falling into the knee-jerk reaction you’re feeling. This also includes leaning into the benefits you might be getting from this situation.
This is considered cognitive reappraisal, which can be used in many situations and is highly effective in regulating negative emotions. I first learned of it in cognitive behavioral therapy and it has played a huge role in improving my mindset — especially during my darker moments.
One trick is to open up a word document, actively type out how you are feeling and then do bullet points dissecting why your reaction may not be justified. Become the counterpoint. Be the opposing lawyer for your emotional state, and make a case to yourself about why you shouldn’t be feeling the way you are.
What this also does is exercise extinction learning — which reconditions you to be less reactive to similar situations in the future. For example, a person who is afraid of dogs is often afraid because of earlier experiences dealing with aggressive dogs. But when therapists expose them to friendlier dogs, that fear tends to diminish. It “extincts” the prior state.
You can invoke this by intervening on your emotions and preventing the imprint of such a negative experience in the next case.
Above all, channel more gratitude. I try to remember that there are people in hospitals at any given moment — who have little time left in this world. They’d give anything to be in good health, and in an airplane terminal rather than where they are.
Remember these blessings when all else fails. We can all go home and hug the people we love. We have our freedom and our health. That’s a gift that isn’t given to all.
In the end, we were given a new plane to board. Everyone looked completely exhausted and fed up.
The airplane captain came onto the overhead speakers and said, “Apologies on the delay everyone. For context, the delay was caused by a mechanical issue on the prior plane. Mechanics realized they were unable to close the airplane door and couldn’t figure out why.”
I laughed inwardly. If ever there was a justified reason to delay a flight — that was one. I’m glad they chose to fix the door and make us wait.
Sometimes, a delay is the best thing that could have ever happened to you.
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